I Didn’t Ask For This Resume Critique

After my experience with Resume Doctor, (http://www.i-dont-think-so.com/?p=507) I’ve steered away from resume evaluations. However, with this particular company even deleting their ‘do you want a resume critique’ email unread (which I did) didn’t stop them from critiquing my resume. I deleted their first email unread yesterday, and I remember saying to myself, after that mess with Resume Doctor, I DON’T THINK SO (first time that I’ve really been able to fit the blog title into a blog post in a natural way in a long time).

Today, I received this pile of male bovine fecal material.

Dear Suellen

Thank you for choosing Beyond.com for your resume critique. In our years of operation, we’ve learned what employers are looking for in job-seeker resumes. We’ve also learned how job seekers can showcase their skills and qualifications while avoiding mistakes that could hurt their chances for employment.

Our goal for this critique was to provide you an honest, direct assessment of your current resume. By using an intelligent program that we created, we have scored your resume based on an evaluation of its content, structure and other key factors. Your resulting score is located in the upper-right corner of this page.

After evaluating your resume, we believe it needs some improvement to pass the 30-second test and avoid falling victim to some of the latest screening techniques being used by employers. Your resume should make hiring managers want to read more about you. It should show why you would be a great employee and create excitement about your skills and qualifications.

Your resume doesn’t miss the target by much, but we suggest seeking professional assistance to improve your aim. A professional resume writer can showcase you as a prime candidate, help you stand apart from the hundreds of other applicants, and help you land your next interview. At the bottom of this 2-page critique you will find detailed information on our resume writing service. We encourage you to call and speak with one of our Career Advocates at (888) 447-1193 or email ResumeCritique@Beyond.com to discuss your critique. If you call within the next 48 hours, you will receive a 15% discount off of the regular price.

Ready to move forward now? Click here to order professional resume writing with your limited-time offer.

Here is some specific feedback regarding your resume:

As an experienced professional it is imperative to demonstrate that you can make an impact in any organization. By writing a resume that effectively depicts your skills and experiences, you can quickly get the attention of hiring managers. Your years of experience can help you land your next job, but first you need to land the interview. Writing a resume that gets you noticed takes skill and experience. Your resume needs to demonstrate that you can be a major contributor and add to the bottom line and it needs to compel them to continue reading.


Your resume seems to be missing a career summary, which is traditional at this stage in your career. When reviewing candidates with more than five years of experience, most employers expect to see career summaries at the top of resumes. More than an objective statement, a career summary provides a concise but comprehensive view of who you are as a professional, not just what you hope to achieve next.

Employers and recruiters are looking for results-oriented resumes that help them envision how you could be an asset to their organizations. Unfortunately, your existing resume gives the impression that you are a “doer” and not an “achiever”.


Your resume structure is clear and consistent, which means you’re making it easy for recruiters and hiring managers to take in your key points within each section. Now that you have a solid foundation, see if there are any improvements that can make your resume structure even more fluid.

It looks like your resume could use more bullets in certain sections. Each bullet should be brief and descriptive, to convey information quickly and effectively. To help you focus on the most important information, make sure your bullets are results-based, highlighting what you achieved as a result of what you did.


Right now your resume is just too long to be effective (about 787 words) . As a candidate without many years of experience, you can help your cause by creating a more concise summary of your experience and qualifications. Don’t assume that including more information will make you appear more experienced. Instead, focus on making sure every line of your resume is effective and has a clear purpose.

You should consider removing, or emphasize less, any work experience from over 25 years ago. Employers are more interested in your most recent, relevant experience.
Be sure to list your work experience in reverse chronological order, with your most recent experience first. Also, list the geographical location next to the employer name. Try to qualify and quantify your past accomplishments whenever possible to give them greater impact.

Based on the number of jobs on your resume with a relatively brief tenure, recruiters and hiring managers may view this as “job hopping”, which can be a red flag. While there are many valid reasons to move on from a job, you don’t want to raise concerns about your commitment level. The good news is there are ways to minimize the “job hopping” impression and present a more steady work history.

In your resume, you incorporated personal pronouns. This is something that you should consider changing. Personal pronouns (I, me, my, etc.) should be avoided as they are not necessary and may be a bit awkward. In fact, many recruiters and hiring managers consider it incorrect and unprofessional.


To reiterate, we believe that your resume could do a much better job of selling hiring managers on your value as a potential employee. We are concerned that your skills may be overlooked. In today’s extremely competitive job market, you need to win over hiring managers quickly and convincingly. Without some overall improvements, your resume probably won’t generate the attention it deserves.

We’d be happy to help you create a better resume. Through our professional Resume Writing Service, you will work with a professional resume writer, who can help you perfect your resume and showcase your distinctive skills and qualifications. Your writer will be chosen based upon your industry and experience. They will provide expert help in choosing keywords for your resume so it will resonate with hiring managers instead of falling victim to some of the latest screening techniques. All in all, we feel we can help you get through the gatekeeper and be called for more interviews.

The cost of having your resume written by a professional is normally $149. However, for the next 48 hours, you can receive a 15% discount. That’s only $125 (a $24 savings). This offer expires on 06/20/2013. Click here to take advantage of this special offer or call 888-447-1193 to speak with a Career Advocate.

Hmmm, as stated a few times before I didn’t want this resume critique, I didn’t ask for it, I deleted the email offering it to me unread. And when I login to their site, I can’t even tell WHICH resume they critiqued (I have several resumes as I have experience in several different fields).

Even if I were interested in their services, the less than honest way they go about drumming up business for their website really really turns me off. In addition, this (in their opinion) less than optimal resume has gotten me 3 phone calls, two interviews, and a phone interview/screening/invitation to an informational session in less than a week (I haven’t been actively job hunting since the first of the year, so I didn’t send out resumes until last week). My resumes are working for me, so even if I could afford their services I don’t see the need to pay $125.00 for a service I never expressed any interest in in the first place.

The areas I bolded in the above (which was copied and pasted from the email I received) are phrases that I think either contradict themselves or that presume a lot. First paragraph they say this experienced professional but later in the same document they say this without many years of experience,. Which one is it? Either I have a lot of experience or I don’t.

The other wording that I highlighted is which is traditional at this stage in your career presumes that I have a career. Maybe back when I worked for the bank for 10 years, I had a career. Now I have a series of jobs, and my whole point is to pay my bills. I will shovel alpaca poop if necessary to pay those bills. And if I’m supposed to be emphasizing a career, I would have to include jobs that started in 1989, which they say is too old.

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